A bunch of the higher ups at a corporate owned big city dealership
were looking at their end of the year numbers and were trying to
figure out where they could save a few bucks. It wasn’t hard to find
the largest expense in their operation.  It was the mechanics salary. 
Now all they had to do was figure out a way to keep more of the
gross profits in their pockets instead of spending it on those grease
covered employees down in the service bays. 

It was up to the R&D department to come up with a concept and
get back to the higher ups. They talked to a guy fixing his own car
out in the parking lot. They asked around at the nearby discount
auto parts center. They even discussed how they could provide repair
services at all hours of the day and night without having to hire a
single mechanic.  As for the diagnostic side of things, the general
consensus from the DIY’rs they talked to was that if they knew
what was wrong, they could fix it themselves. Their plan was sounding
pretty good on paper.  Funny thing though, the only people they didn’t
talk to was… the actual customers and the mechanics.

They compiled their analysis, ran it through a computer simulation and came up with this conclusion.  The mechanic/technician field is a highly skilled trade that requires a great deal of mechanical aptitude as well as advanced knowledge in electronics and hydraulics.  As well as knowing how to use sophisticated tools and computer systems. It also requires continual training in new equipment, procedures, and even newer systems. The investment into maintaining a top notch technician is quite expensive.  (All of which the higher ups wanted to avoid.)

The R&D report was sent to the higher ups. The higher ups came to the conclusion that as long as you could diagnose a problem the rest of it is just changing a part.  “This car repair stuff is easy to do.  Why don’t we get a computer to do all of this?  It could work 24-7, what a concept!”
So the plan came down to this.  Devise a way to not only diagnose a car, but be able to repair it at any time of the day or night without having to pay for any high priced mechanics.  How? Simple, they invented the ATM.  The “Automated Technician Machine”.  A 24 hour, credit card operated, self-serve, automotive diagnostic and repair center for the DIY’r.  This machine had a diagnostic hook up for the car, with complete diagrams and all the needed tools at their disposal. These service bays would be capable of dispensing the needed fluids, parts, and the tools too. It didn’t take long before the higher ups threw even more money at this project and converted all the service bays into these ‘coin-operated’ contraptions and all the ‘human’ mechanics were given ‘the’ pink slip.

For the first month or so, the higher ups were smiling from ear to ear with their pet project.  Gone were all those high paid technicians in the service bays. The DIY repair mode was in full swing.  But, it wasn’t long before problems started coming up.  First it was a stuck ball joint that the computer couldn’t help with.  Next it was an electrical problem where it advised replacing everything even though it was just a broken wire in clear view. Then, it was a broken stud that the computer couldn’t figure out, and more than once, some character got upset and didn’t understand the information provided, and took their frustration out by damaging the machine. Even though the info was as accurate as possible, there was still something missing.  The answers were the ‘by the book’ type answers and it would only work properly if the car was as it was from the factory.  Any deviation from the original … any at all… and the ATM would go berserk, causing even more chaos. The problems just kept adding up.

Soon, it wasn’t only their customers that were having issues with these ATM’s, it was the city who was on their backs now.  Seems, they didn’t consider the fact that they needed a license to operate vending machines in the city limits, and there were additional taxes owed to the city too.  The cost of operating these ATM’s kept climbing.  The higher ups started to think this wasn’t such a good idea. “We didn’t have these kinds of problems when we had mechanics!” they told each other.  So, what do you think these white shirts did now?  Well, they spent even more money.  They hired in a bunch of other white shirts to examine the problem. 

Soon, there was more money going out the door than there was coming in.  After several months of research, more broken machines, more upset customers, and tons of none returned tools that had to be replaced, and cars abandoned in service bays after the owners had given up on the repairs, the evaluation team had their answers.  A meeting was set up for the next afternoon in a large suite on the top floor of a huge skyscraper, miles from the chaotic scene at the dealership.  The number crunchers were there, as well as the vice-presidents, the vice-vice presidents, and the executives to the vice presidents.  All the white shirts were leaning back in their overstuffed office chairs waiting for the answer that would lead them to an even higher skyscraper and more dividends. The higher ups asked the team of evaluators, “We expect something worthy of your six figure fee for evaluating all of this.  So, what’s your grand solution to this mess?”

They answered,
“Hire the mechanics back!”

The moral of this story;

When it comes to repairing your car, it still takes the human touch.  The kind you’ll find with an experienced mechanic.  Things like a stuck ball joint, a broken bolt and other problems that are associated with automotive repair are all part of the daily routine. With practice and a bit of mechanical know how, mechanics find ways of getting around the so called ‘by the book’ repairs and solve a lot of issues that can’t be solved any other way. Those higher ups are smart guys and gals, but their training in what they know isn’t acquired in the same manner as the way a mechanic’s skills are. There’s a lot more to repairing something than reading a book or hooking a computer up to it. Seriously, if it was easy… anybody could do it…but it’s not as easy as it looks.

Consider this; it takes a lot of OJT to be an ATM.   Oh, and I don’t mean one of those ‘Automated Technician Machines’, that acronym has a completely different meaning down here in the service bay.  There are a lot of people out there who admire the skills of a good technician, who understand the complexities of this job, and are more than thankful such guys and gals are out there.  As a customer or a fellow technician, you may know of one of them… one of those ATM’s that is, an “Appreciated Technician-Mechanic”.   

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